高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)與評(píng)析
我們從高考英語(yǔ)的滿分作文中返回到點(diǎn)評(píng)，看它們的出色之處，學(xué)習(xí)借鑒它們的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家整理的高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)，供大家參閱!
重慶高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)
【試題回放】
據(jù)報(bào)道，7歲的美國(guó)女孩Amy Bruce得知自己身患肺癌(lung cancer)后處于極度的痛苦之中，美國(guó)抗癌協(xié)會(huì)(ACS)決定，每當(dāng)Amy收到一封慰問(wèn)信，就給她增加3美分的治療款。
假如你是新華中學(xué)的學(xué)生李華，請(qǐng)你用英文給Amy寫(xiě)一封慰問(wèn)信，主要內(nèi)容包括：
自我介紹
得知的情況
表示鼓勵(lì)
打算為她做什么
祝她早日康復(fù)
注意：
1. 信的格式已為你寫(xiě)好
2. 信中不得出現(xiàn)你的真實(shí)情況。
3. 詞數(shù)100左右。
4. 請(qǐng)?jiān)诖痤}卡上作答。
Dear Amy,
I’m Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. I’m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! I’m sure you will win. It is reported that the America anti-cancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
[名師點(diǎn)評(píng)]
本文依照要求，涵蓋了所有要點(diǎn)。文章使用了高中常見(jiàn)的句式，如I?m sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比較好。作者對(duì)定語(yǔ)從句的使用恰到好處地修飾了文章，行文自然而通順，值得學(xué)習(xí)。
積累卡片
好詞1.realize v.意識(shí)到2.promise v.允諾3.donate v.捐贈(zèng)
好句1、I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain.
我很遺憾地得知你身患肺癌，給你帶來(lái)了巨大的痛苦。
好處：which引導(dǎo)限制性定語(yǔ)從句。
2、So, stand up and fight against the disease!
因此，堅(jiān)強(qiáng)地與疾病做斗爭(zhēng)吧!
好處：擲地有聲，語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確。
高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)
作文題目
假設(shè)你是李華，你的英國(guó)筆友Bob將于九月到你所在城市的建新華文學(xué)校學(xué)中文，來(lái)信請(qǐng)你在學(xué)校附近為他找一套住房。請(qǐng)根據(jù)圖畫(huà)提供的信息，寫(xiě)信介紹住房的情況，并告知住房面積為25平方米，月租500元。
注意：1、詞數(shù)：100左右;2、參考詞匯：房租—Tent(n.).
作品一：
I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.
Hope you will come here soon!
All the best!
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文格式正確，意思表述完整，行文流暢自然。作者在寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中注意長(zhǎng)短句并用，還使用了以‘which，’引導(dǎo)的非限定性定語(yǔ)從句，從而使文章層次分明，富于變化，不愧為考場(chǎng)佳作。
作品二：
Dear Bob,
Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.
I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport,see you.
Best wishes !
Yours,
Li Hua
滿分理由
本文格式正確，內(nèi)容完整，表述清楚，銜接緊密流暢，時(shí)態(tài)語(yǔ)態(tài)使用準(zhǔn)確，特別是結(jié)尾末段適度的發(fā)揮，既充實(shí)了內(nèi)容，又符合邏輯，成為本文與眾不同的亮點(diǎn)。
湖北高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)
【試題回放】假設(shè)你是卜曼宜，你購(gòu)買了一部某外國(guó)公司生產(chǎn)的手機(jī)，因有質(zhì)量問(wèn)題，要求該公司更換。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要點(diǎn)，用英文寫(xiě)一封電子郵件。
要點(diǎn)：1. 問(wèn)題：手機(jī)不響鈴，不能發(fā)短信;該產(chǎn)品已售完，無(wú)法更換;型號(hào)新，無(wú)配件，無(wú)法維修。2. 要求：公司應(yīng)盡快予以更換。
注意：1. 詞數(shù)為100左右;
2. 參考詞匯：配件—— spare part;
3. 電子郵件的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫(xiě)好(不計(jì)入你所寫(xiě)詞數(shù));
4.已給出的電子郵件的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾不得抄入答題卡。
Dear Sir，
I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, P.R. China. Ten days after that, it didn’t ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Bu Manyi
【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本文內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，語(yǔ)言豐富，結(jié)構(gòu)合理，如頭兩句說(shuō)明了購(gòu)買手機(jī)后發(fā)現(xiàn)故障的情況，中間部分說(shuō)明了無(wú)法維修而必須讓公司更換手機(jī)的原委，最后明確提出自己的要求，明白流暢，將題目所提出的要點(diǎn)全部表達(dá)清楚，較好的完成了任務(wù)。全文以一般過(guò)去時(shí)為基調(diào)，結(jié)合主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)與被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，并使用了so, but, therefore 等連接詞，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)完整嚴(yán)密。固定短語(yǔ)，如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用，使文章的語(yǔ)言顯得地道而精煉。
積累卡片英漢互譯
好詞1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.絕望的 3. consideration n.體諒
好句To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.
令我失望的是，他說(shuō)因?yàn)樵谥袊?guó)是新款手機(jī)，所以沒(méi)有配件來(lái)修理。
評(píng)析：復(fù)雜句的組織; to my disappointment, 常用短語(yǔ)。
江蘇高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)
【試題回放】實(shí)現(xiàn)有效的溝通，建立良好的人際關(guān)系，不僅要善于言表，更要學(xué)會(huì)傾聽(tīng)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下表中所提供的信息，寫(xiě)一篇題為“Being a Good Listener” 的英文演講稿。
為何傾聽(tīng)表示尊重，增進(jìn)理解，建立良好的人際關(guān)系
誰(shuí)來(lái)傾聽(tīng)家長(zhǎng)傾聽(tīng)孩子理解孩子，消除代溝，……
老師傾聽(tīng)學(xué)生了解學(xué)生，滿足需求，……
同學(xué)相互傾聽(tīng)增進(jìn)友誼，互幫互學(xué)，……
怎樣傾聽(tīng)(請(qǐng)考生聯(lián)系自己擬定內(nèi)容，列舉兩至三點(diǎn)。)
注意：
1、 對(duì)所給要點(diǎn)，逐一陳述，適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，不要簡(jiǎn)單翻譯。
2、 詞數(shù)150左右。開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)寫(xiě)好，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
3、 演講稿中不得提及考生所在學(xué)校及本人姓名。
Good afternoon, everyone.
The topic of my speech today is “Being a Good Listener”.
Good listening can always show respect, promote understanding, and improve interpersonal relationship.
Many people suggest that parents should listen more to their children, so they will understand them better, and find it easy to narrow the generation gap; teachers should listen more to their students, then they can meet their needs better, and place themselves in a good relationship with their students; students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.
What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others. Show your respect and never stop others till they finish their talk; show you are interested by a supportive silence or a knowing smile; be open-minded to different opinions even though you don’t like them. In a word, good listening can really enable us to get closer to each other.
Thank you for your listening!
【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】
這是一篇感情真摯、熱情洋溢的演講稿，文中大量運(yùn)用排比句型，不但準(zhǔn)確流暢地表達(dá)出題目中所提供的信息，而且體現(xiàn)出作者熟練運(yùn)用英語(yǔ)的能力以及不俗的文采。第三段中所使用的相同結(jié)構(gòu)的復(fù)合句式，將傾聽(tīng)的對(duì)象及其作用闡述得淋漓盡致;而第四段中用一系列的祈使句議論應(yīng)如何傾聽(tīng)，則更進(jìn)一步地增強(qiáng)了這篇演說(shuō)稿的說(shuō)服力。
積累卡片英漢互譯
好詞1.promote v .促進(jìn) 2. interpersonal adj.人際的
3. generation gap. 代溝 4. open-minded adj. 虛心的
好句1. students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.
同學(xué)之間應(yīng)該互相傾聽(tīng)，這樣他們可以互相學(xué)習(xí)和幫助，也會(huì)形成友誼。
評(píng)析：復(fù)雜句的組合，被動(dòng)句的使用。
2. What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others.
我想強(qiáng)調(diào)的是我們每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該更多的傾聽(tīng)他人。
評(píng)析：復(fù)合句的使用。
北京高考英語(yǔ)滿分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)
【試題回放】假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三一班的學(xué)生李華，為?？⒄Z(yǔ)園地寫(xiě)一篇題為“Our Spring Outing” 的英文稿件。 請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下四幅圖的先后順序，敘述上周你們班從準(zhǔn)備春游到春游結(jié)束的完整過(guò)程。
注意： 詞數(shù)不少于60.
提示詞： 游樂(lè)園amusement park 垃圾箱bin
Last Thursday, we had a class meeting to discuss where to go for our spring outing. We came up with several choices such as going boating, climbing a mountain, and going to an amusement park. Finally, we decided to go mountain climbing.
The next day, we set off early in the morning. While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view . However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels. Then we started to pick up the litter and put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-recycling bin respectively.
We were tired but happy.
【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】
本情景作文的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)如下：1.討論;2.爬山;3.檢拾別人的垃圾;4.投放垃圾。內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)可用不同方式表達(dá)。本文覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，較好地完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。其中，寫(xiě)作主題突出，詳略得當(dāng)，應(yīng)用了較多的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯，而且有效的使用了語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使全文機(jī)構(gòu)緊湊。本文敘述清楚，描寫(xiě)細(xì)致，準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用了很多富有表現(xiàn)力的詞和句型，例如：“set off early”，“enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view”, ”were shocked to see litter here and there “等，將活動(dòng)的情形很形象地描述了出來(lái)。
積累卡片英漢互譯
好詞1 set off 出發(fā)2. litter n.廢棄物3.respectively adv.分別地
好句1.While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view .
在爬山時(shí)，我們享受著溫暖的陽(yáng)光和美麗的風(fēng)景。
1. However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels.
然而，當(dāng)我們登上山頂，被眼前的一幕驚呆了：瓶子和香蕉皮這樣的廢棄物到處都是。
評(píng)析：細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，生動(dòng)形象。“shock”一詞也用得生動(dòng)傳神。
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