好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過(guò)笑話我們可以看到一個(gè)民族的生存環(huán)境、生活方式、社會(huì)關(guān)系和心理特征等等。小編精心收集了好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "
有你教他真好
在我和一位三年級(jí)學(xué)生的母親交談時(shí)，另一位老師從旁邊走過(guò)。那位母親評(píng)論說(shuō)那女教師真美，她說(shuō)：“如果由她教我兒子的話，他一定不能認(rèn)真聽(tīng)課的。”她停頓了一下，又加了一句：“有你教他真好。”
好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：The Judges Pistol
One day Mel Martin stopped by the chambers of a judge with whom he had lunch appointment. As his friend changed from robe jacket, Martin noticed a shiny black pistol bolstered to the judge's shoulder.
The judge was not a firearms enthusiast, so Martin asked him why he was carrying it. His friend said that because of recent threats he had borrowed the pistol from the repository of confiscated weapons. Holding it up, the judge said, "I chose this one because it's so mean-looking, yet it hardly weighs a thing. I hope I don't need it, because I don't even know how to load it."
"It's not hard," Martin said, examining it closely. "We can fill it at the water fountain on the way out."
法官的手槍
一天，麥爾·馬丁來(lái)到一個(gè)法官辦公室。他跟法官約好了一起吃午餐。當(dāng)法官換掉長(zhǎng)袍時(shí)，馬丁發(fā)現(xiàn)法官肩上綁著一支閃光發(fā)亮的手槍。
法官并不是個(gè)武器狂熱者，因此馬丁問(wèn)他為什么帶上它。他的這位朋友回答說(shuō)因?yàn)榻鼇?lái)不斷有恐嚇發(fā)生，所以他從充公武器倉(cāng)庫(kù)那里借來(lái)一把手槍。法官把槍拿在手里，說(shuō)：“我選了這把槍是因?yàn)樗雌饋?lái)很嚇人，卻一點(diǎn)也不重。我希望我并不需要它，因?yàn)槲疫€不知道怎么裝子彈呢。”
“這并不難，”馬丁說(shuō)，一邊仔細(xì)檢查那支槍，“我們可以在出口的自來(lái)水管處裝滿它。”
好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：A Call from a Frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.
青蛙的電話
青蛙撥打通靈熱線。電話中說(shuō)：“你將遇到一位美麗的年輕女子，她要了解你的一切。”
青蛙說(shuō)：“這太棒了!我會(huì)在舞會(huì)上遇見(jiàn)她，還是----?”
“不，”通靈者說(shuō)，“是在下個(gè)學(xué)期她的生物課上。”
好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：The Long and Short of It
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .
"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
來(lái)龍去脈
盡管我從未見(jiàn)過(guò)我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時(shí)候，我和祖母一起一頁(yè)一頁(yè)地翻著老照片，我終于認(rèn)識(shí)到他們?cè)谝黄鹗嵌嗝床煌瑢こ！?/p>
“奶奶，”我問(wèn)道，“你怎么會(huì)愛(ài)上一個(gè)比你矮五英寸的人呢?”
她轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉來(lái)看著我。“寶貝，”她說(shuō)，“我們是坐著相愛(ài)的。當(dāng)我站起來(lái)的時(shí)候，已經(jīng)太晚了。”
好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
"Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
"How did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.
牧羊人與官僚
一位官僚在徒步旅行，這時(shí)他看到一個(gè)牧羊人在看護(hù)一大群羊。這個(gè)官僚特別喜歡羊，就問(wèn)牧羊人：“如果我能猜出有多少只，我能領(lǐng)走一只羊嗎?”牧羊人想他不可能猜中準(zhǔn)確的數(shù)目，就同意了。
官僚猜道：“你有二百八十七只羊。”牧羊人驚呆了，因?yàn)檫@確是準(zhǔn)確的數(shù)目。
“我可以挑一只羊了吧?”官僚問(wèn)道。牧羊人勉強(qiáng)地答應(yīng)了。官僚挑了一只羊，把它甩在肩上就往家里扛。
牧羊人來(lái)了主意。“如果我猜中你的身份，”他說(shuō)，“我可以收回我的羊嗎?”官僚甚感驚奇，但考慮到牧羊人猜中的機(jī)會(huì)很小，就同意了。“你是個(gè)官員，”牧羊人猜道。
官僚一愣，問(wèn)道：“你怎么知道的?”
牧羊人回答：“先把我的狗放下，然后我們?cè)僬f(shuō)話。”
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