簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話12篇閱讀
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話12篇閱讀
學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)，閱讀真的很重要，多閱讀一些簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話也是提高英語(yǔ)閱讀能力的一種，下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編在這里整理了簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話12篇，希望大家會(huì)喜歡這些英語(yǔ)笑話!
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：一場(chǎng)特殊的足球比賽
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麥克上學(xué)遲到了。他對(duì)布萊克老師說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因?yàn)槲以趬?mèng)里觀看了一場(chǎng)球賽。”
“為什么它會(huì)讓你遲到呢?”老師問(wèn)道。
“因?yàn)檫@兩個(gè)隊(duì)都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續(xù)的時(shí)間長(zhǎng)了。”麥克回答說(shuō)。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學(xué)?；氐郊依铮瑢?duì)媽媽說(shuō)：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患覜]有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒有做過(guò)的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說(shuō)：我的家庭作業(yè)。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無(wú)奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來(lái)大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴(yán)厲地說(shuō)，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽我兒子說(shuō)：“來(lái)，斯蒂文，我們來(lái)把自己弄臟吧。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Does He Bite 它咬人嗎
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你愿意過(guò)來(lái)和他玩一會(huì)嗎?
羅恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人嗎?
里基：這正是我想要查明的。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：To Buy a Video 買錄像機(jī)
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問(wèn)媽媽他們是否能買一臺(tái)錄像機(jī)。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽嘆息著說(shuō)。
可第二天當(dāng)艾莫斯回來(lái)時(shí)，他搖搖晃晃地搬著一臺(tái)全新的錄像機(jī)。
你究竟是哪兒來(lái)的錢買這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘著氣說(shuō)。
媽媽，這簡(jiǎn)單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機(jī)給賣了!
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一個(gè)特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”
他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Two Pieces of Cake 兩塊蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當(dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。弟弟：我這個(gè)月已經(jīng)賺了一塊兩毛五了。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Birthday 生日
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什么時(shí)候?
孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?
孩子：每年都是。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：玩藏貓貓
A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.
一群偉大的科學(xué)家去世后在天堂里玩藏貓貓。輪到愛因斯坦抓人，他數(shù)到100睜開眼睛，看到所有的人都藏起來(lái)了，只有牛頓還站在那里。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：I don't think I know
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老師：“John，動(dòng)詞ring的過(guò)去分詞是什么?”。
約翰：“你想它是什么呢”?
老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。
約翰：“我想我不知道”。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)小笑話：Good news or Bad news?
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."以為藝術(shù)家在一個(gè)畫廊辦了個(gè)展覽，他問(wèn)店主是否有人對(duì)他參展的畫感興趣。
“我有一個(gè)好消息和一個(gè)壞消息。”店主回答。
“先告訴我好消息。”畫家要求道。
“好消息是一位紳士詢問(wèn)了你的作品，還問(wèn)它是否會(huì)在你死后增。我告訴他會(huì)的，然后他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”
“那太棒了!”畫家驚嘆。“那么什么會(huì)是壞消息呢?”
店主想了想之后說(shuō)：“問(wèn)那個(gè)問(wèn)題的是你的醫(yī)生”。
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