精選少兒英語(yǔ)笑話

時(shí)間：2016-02-17 14:09:16 焯杰674由分享

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)精選少兒英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　精選少兒英語(yǔ)笑話：二戰(zhàn)已經(jīng)結(jié)束

　　This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest to confess.

　　"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic1, and they never found her."

　　"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by marrying me."

　　The priest contemplated2 this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly3."

　　"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"

　　"Of course, my son," said the priest.

　　The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"

　　一位年長(zhǎng)的意大利男人來(lái)向他的神父告解。

　　他說(shuō)：“神父，二戰(zhàn)伊始，一個(gè)美麗的猶太女人來(lái)敲我的門(mén)，要把她藏起來(lái)不讓德國(guó)人找到。我于是把她藏在閣樓里，德國(guó)人也的確沒(méi)能找到她。”

　　“這是件好事兒啊!”神父打斷他說(shuō)，“你根本沒(méi)必要為這事兒來(lái)找我告解啊!” “但后來(lái)好事兒變成了壞事兒，”這個(gè)老人繼續(xù)說(shuō)到，“我不夠堅(jiān)定，我告訴她因?yàn)槲規(guī)土嗣λ运仨氁陨硐嘣S來(lái)回報(bào)我。”

　　神父想了一陣，回答說(shuō)：“恩……那是個(gè)艱難的時(shí)期，你冒了很大風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。如果德國(guó)人發(fā)現(xiàn)你把她藏起來(lái)，你肯定會(huì)很慘。我相信，以上帝的智慧和寬容，他一定能從你的善與惡里找的平衡，饒恕你的罪。”

　　“謝謝你神父!你這么說(shuō)我輕松多了!我能再問(wèn)個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?”

　　“你問(wèn)，孩子。”

　　“我是不是也必須告訴她二戰(zhàn)已經(jīng)結(jié)束了呢?”

　　精選少兒英語(yǔ)笑話：零錢(qián)不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar1, I got into an argument with a prospective2customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks3 were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　I pointed4 out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents.Triumphant5, he paid with a bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　在教堂的義賣(mài)市上賣(mài)舊書(shū)時(shí)，我與一名準(zhǔn)備買(mǎi)東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)論。他對(duì)購(gòu)買(mǎi)袖珍奧金·納什集頗感興趣，但是說(shuō)它要三十五美分開(kāi)價(jià)過(guò)高。其它的平裝書(shū)每本才賣(mài)十或十五美分。

　　我指出這本書(shū)保存狀況頗好，納什是個(gè)有趣的詩(shī)人，這個(gè)要價(jià)是合理的。他說(shuō)這是個(gè)原則問(wèn)題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價(jià)格將這本書(shū)賣(mài)給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢(qián)不用找了。”他說(shuō)。

　　精選少兒英語(yǔ)笑話：小心有狗

　　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.

　　Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

　　"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.

　　"Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused.

　　"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

　　"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走進(jìn)一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門(mén)上帖著的一個(gè)告示牌上寫(xiě)著，“危險(xiǎn)! 小心有狗!”

　　進(jìn)去后，他看到一條樣子一點(diǎn)都不兇的老狗趴在收款機(jī)旁邊的地板上睡覺(jué)。

　　“這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問(wèn)店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。聽(tīng)到這個(gè)回答，陌生人覺(jué)得很好笑。

　　“我覺(jué)得那條狗一點(diǎn)都不可怕。你帖那個(gè)告示做什么?”

　　“因?yàn)椋?rdquo; 店主解釋說(shuō)，“在我帖告示之前，大伙老被他絆倒。”