雙語(yǔ)閱讀：初次約會(huì)的4個(gè)技巧

　　以下是小編整理的英語(yǔ)文章：初次約會(huì)的4個(gè)技巧， 希望能對(duì)大家的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)有幫助。

　　1.Talk Travel, Not Movies

　　1.談旅游，別談電影

　　In a study by Richard Wiseman, less than 9% of couples that talked movies wanted a second date vs 18% of couples that talked about travel.

　　在理查德·懷斯曼做的一項(xiàng)研究中，想要第二次約會(huì)的人中，雙方談?wù)撾娪暗牟坏?%，而雙方談?wù)撀眯械恼剂?8%。

　　When talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel… the conversations about travel tended to revolve around great holidays and dream destinations, and that makes people feel good and so appear more attractive to one another.

　　如果約會(huì)時(shí)談?wù)撾娪?，那只有不?%的約會(huì)雙方會(huì)想再次見(jiàn)面，相比之下，如果談?wù)撀糜危陀?8%的人想要第二次約會(huì)…關(guān)于旅游的對(duì)話往往圍繞著休閑的假期和夢(mèng)想的旅游勝地而展開(kāi)，旅游度假這個(gè)話題使人感覺(jué)良好，這個(gè)話題能讓雙方都互相更有吸引力。

　　2.It’s Not Just What You Talk About, It’s How You Talk

　　2.不在于你談什么，而在于你怎么談

　　Add to what they say and bounce the ball back.This is how to have smooth first date conversation.

　　把對(duì)方談的話題進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充，再把問(wèn)題拋給對(duì)方，進(jìn)行新一輪交流。這樣才是第一次約會(huì)順利交談?dòng)淇炝奶斓姆绞健?/p>

　　Avoid extremes in autonomy. Don’t dominate, but don’t be a non-contributor either.

　　不要極端地把控話語(yǔ)權(quán)。不占主導(dǎo)地位，但也不要做完全被動(dòng)的角色。

　　3.Share Secrets

　　分享秘密

　　Emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.

　　第一次約會(huì)交流感情、互相交換個(gè)人信息能大大促進(jìn)感情的聯(lián)系。

　　A psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in McAdams’s system to level two.[/en]

　　紐約州立大學(xué)斯托尼布魯克分校的一位心理學(xué)家對(duì)于人們是如何形成浪漫關(guān)系這方面的研究很感興趣，他想出了一個(gè)巧妙的計(jì)策把從來(lái)沒(méi)有見(jiàn)過(guò)面的男女讓他們感覺(jué)彼此親近。通常需要幾周、幾個(gè)月或幾年的時(shí)間才能產(chǎn)生親密感，而通過(guò)這一策略用一小時(shí)左右的時(shí)間就可以，他通過(guò)制定了一組問(wèn)題，包括36個(gè)問(wèn)題對(duì)參與者進(jìn)行測(cè)試，就加速了美好感覺(jué)的產(chǎn)生過(guò)程，在麥克亞當(dāng)斯的系統(tǒng)中，級(jí)別迅速?gòu)囊患?jí)提升到二級(jí)。

　　But how effective can this be, really?

　　但效果到底如何?真有這么神奇嗎?

　　In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.

　　在一個(gè)小時(shí)內(nèi)建立起來(lái)的感情比終身友誼的感情更強(qiáng)烈。

　　What he found was striking. The intensity of the dialogue partners’ bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.

　　他的發(fā)現(xiàn)非常驚人。45分鐘的對(duì)話時(shí)間結(jié)束雙方所建立起來(lái)的親密感，類(lèi)似30%的學(xué)生在生活中行成的最親密的感情。換句話說(shuō)，即時(shí)建立起來(lái)的親密感超越了許多長(zhǎng)期培養(yǎng)的感情，甚至比終身培養(yǎng)起來(lái)的感情還要強(qiáng)大。

　　4.Choose Controversial Over Dull Every Time

　　4.每次約會(huì)的爭(zhēng)論氣氛勝于沉悶氣氛

　　If all else fails, talk about abortions and STD’s.

　　如果其他話題都爭(zhēng)論不起來(lái)的話，爭(zhēng)論一下墮胎和性病傳播這類(lèi)問(wèn)題。

　　Forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first date conversation.

　　迫使大家討論有意思但更有爭(zhēng)議性的話題，營(yíng)造這樣的氣氛會(huì)讓第一次約會(huì)交談的氣氛更令人愉快。

　　We limited the type of discussions that online daters could engage in by eliminating their ability to ask anything that they wanted and giving them a preset list of questions and allowing them to ask only these questions. The questions we chose had nothing to do with the weather and how many brothers and sisters they have, and instead all the questions were interesting and personally revealing (ie.,“how many romantic partners did you have?”, “When was your last breakup?”, “Do you have any STDs?”, “Have you ever broken someone’s heart?”, “How do you feel about abortion?”)… Instead of talking about the World Cup or their favorite desserts, they shared their innermost fears or told the story of losing their virginity. Everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…What we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward anequilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.

　　我們對(duì)網(wǎng)上交友者所討論的話題限定類(lèi)型，不允許想問(wèn)什么就問(wèn)什么，把可以問(wèn)的問(wèn)題給他們列出一個(gè)表，只允許他們問(wèn)這些問(wèn)題。我們選擇的問(wèn)題與天氣無(wú)關(guān)，也不問(wèn)有多少兄弟姐妹，所有的問(wèn)題都很有意思，而且都能從問(wèn)題的回答中看出每個(gè)人的個(gè)性(如，“你談過(guò)多少次戀愛(ài)?”“你上一次分手是什么時(shí)候?”“你有性病嗎?”“你傷過(guò)別人的心嗎?”“你對(duì)墮胎這個(gè)問(wèn)題怎么看?”)…不談?wù)撌澜绫蜃约合矚g的甜點(diǎn)，分享彼此內(nèi)心深處的恐懼或者告訴對(duì)方自己失身的秘密。每個(gè)人既要向?qū)Ψ街v述自己的故事也要傾聽(tīng)對(duì)方的傾訴，進(jìn)行快樂(lè)互動(dòng)…我們從這個(gè)小實(shí)驗(yàn)中可以了解到大家自由選擇自己想要討論什么話題，他們往往傾向平衡易于維護(hù)，但不會(huì)從中體驗(yàn)到真正的愉悅感受或從中受益。